If you feel the monotony settling in your relationship, use our funny quotes to give yourself a breath of fresh air. Come to us for the wittiest oneliners.
- “Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.” —Stephanie Ortiz
- “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
- “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” —Bill Maher
- “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Benjamin Franklin
- “Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.” —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
- “I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
- “Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.” —Chip Gaines
- “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” —Prince Philip
- “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
