Funny marriage quotes for fun loving couples


If you feel the monotony settling in your relationship, use our funny quotes to give yourself a breath of fresh air. Come to us for the wittiest oneliners.

  1. “Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.” —Stephanie Ortiz
  2. “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr
  3. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
  4. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” —Bill Maher
  5. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Benjamin Franklin
  6. “Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.” —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
  7. “I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor
  8. “Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.” —Chip Gaines
  9. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” —Prince Philip
  10. “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell


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