Funny positive quotes to keep you smiling and pumped

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Ditch the usual preachy positive quotes and go for some fun. Come to us for witty positive quotes that will give you a boost of confidence and good laughs.

  1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown
  2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
  3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
  4. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown
  5. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott
  6. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch
  7. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
  8. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
  9. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley
  10. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

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