Get a good hearty laugh with George Carlin quotes

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Start your day with a big laugh when you read quotes on this comedian. Your day is sure to be a success if it starts well. Look up the quoes on our site.

  1. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
  2. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
  3. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
  4. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
  5. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
  6. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
  7. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
  8. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  9. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
  10. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

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