John Mulaney quotes from the famous comedian


Learn about the life and challenges of the American comedian who makes everyone laugh. Let his trial inspire you to achieve your dreams the way he did.

  1. I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.
  2. I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment.
  3. I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.
  4. I’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline. I don’t wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines
  5. I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster.
  6. I look back on being 17 and think, ‘Oh my God, how did I not die?
  7. Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.
  8. I just watched a ton of comedy and saw a ton of different styles, and eventually you think, ‘Oh, yeah, I could be like that.
  9. My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don’t think we had a family dinner where one didn’t come up.
  10. If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.


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